User blog:Grey Cross/Quiet-minded

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HTrag1Dbfo

I know where I am here, on this physical plane... But everytime I seem so close to winning that of which I do not know--something that is shrouded in such a vast callous fog of no particular nature--nor dark or light, I get pulled backwards to the checkered starting line, over and over... After awhile, you start to get frusterated, then it turns into a hopelessness that grabs at the mind; in which it threatens to ultimately consume...

On this physical plane, I don't have to question where I am. Nor do most people. However, while I used to know exactly in where I am going on a seperate plane.. I don't anymore. I know I am on a path, however I do not know what path this might be. I think it might be of my own design, and the path will end when I find what I am looking for. Then, this might weave into another path... Maybe not even of my own design.. I know this: You stop being on any single path or off it when you die if you are human. If not, well, I don't know in that case.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRVioSql2Xw

Unlike most, I have been subjected to phantom pains--not in the physical sense, but in the spiritual sense, a mental sense. This, is like a constant. It is as if I am mourning someone that is apart of my family that has died, yet... There is no-one to mourn that I can see. It doesn't matter if I am moving, making my own path, or following another.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n__xYh5soB8

Yes, my friends and family help me cope with this--and other people, but its always there, like a scar. A burning, intolerant scar.

...Because it doesn't go away, and can only be temporarily paused in its tracks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIrfGWo7fME

I wonder if anyone can see it, the constant pain...